My name is Ji Hae Kwak. I use the name ‘Sam’ for my education in Canada. People have asked me, “Why do you use an English name?”. My response is always way too long for those who want a short response.
The name Sam was first used to avoid alienation and discrimination. When I was younger, my name was the target to make a joke out of. I remember being embarrassed to have my name called during class because other children would make fun of it by mocking the “Asian” accent. I told my parents I wanted an English name and I chose the most common name that blends in to avoid standing out.
Later on, I’ve also been asked the question, “Why don’t you just go by your Korean name? You shouldn’t have to change your name for others.” Here again, comes a long answer.
The name Sam was a tool at first to protect me. However, when I look back to my life when I was Ji Hae in Korea, I am very different now from how I used to be. All the times I’ve spent living in Canada while being “Sam” is also a part of who I am. I don’t see myself as Sam and Ji Hae being two different identities. The experiences I’ve been through while being Sam and Ji Hae make up who I am today. I can proudly explain that I am both. I like being called Ji Hae by my parents because they gave me that name and I like being called Ji Hae when speaking in my mother tongue because it reassures my origin and belongingness to my home country. I like being called Sam by my friends and in school because that is how I feel comfortable being called and that is the name I used throughout all my accomplishments.
I consider this experience advantage to the field I am diving into. I remember the awareness I held in school when I wasn’t fluent in English and I will make use of that to be mindful of what the students are feeling. I will be sensitive to empathize and relate to what the students are going through. My goal is to become the teacher I wish I had when I was younger.